So, I know what it's like to be committed to something, and I know what it's like to have someone committed. I found myself thinking about this word during my Zumba class tonight.
What statement am I making by starting my journey in the middle of the Holiday season? Am I thumbing my nose at temptation, trying to ride above it all? Am I trying to get a head start on my New Year's resolution (I have now surpassed the decade mark for this #1 "This is the Year!" statement that turns out to be anything but resolute) so that it can't possibly run me down, run me over, and then shriek with laughter as I stumble more than I step? Is this commitment, or should I be committed?
I was tired tonight, and I didn't really want to go workout. And this is just the beginning of long working days, grad school classes, and long evenings that will last for the next couple of years at least. I'm going into this new round of weight loss with the same gusto I have attacked all previous attempts, and that's not what worries me. I'm a great starter...but I have never allowed myself to finish the task. I've only ever allowed myself to get halfway.
Can I afford to let myself wallow in excuses? "I'm tired. I'm too busy. It's the Holidays (my birthday, your birthday, someone's birthday...)" It's not a question of whether or not I can get away with it. I'm an adult, and I make my own decisions, but I have to make no mistake, I will pay for it. That's another truth I must own. Come hell or high water, if I keep doing what I am doing to my body, I will die an early, and most likely extremely painful death.
So, some may think I should be committed for starting this journey again, and at this time (and they have already told me so), but I honestly think I should be committed if I don't. 200+ pounds is crazy, and I have to take ownership.
Yes, deep for a third post, maybe. But I've also told myself that if I'm going to blog this journey, I need to be honest about it.
As for tonight's Zumba class, let's just say that I was still feeling Monday's today, and so I will probably be feeling tonight's tomorrow!